We’ve all been there; perhaps is has been days, weeks, months, or years of recovering from a break up. You’ve spent time thinking about what went wrong, why it went wrong, and creating the path to the next leg of your journey in love. If you are anything like I’ve been in the past, you may be wondering…how do I know that THIS time, I’m ready? Here are four questions you can ask:
1. What do I want in a partner?
I’m not talking about the materialistic things such as, “I want him to be 6 feet tall with dark hair and blue eyes” or “She’ll be thin with long hair and only wear dresses and heels”. I’m talking about the attributes that create true connection for you, and lead to lasting and fulfilling relationships. In other words, I’m talking about your value system. What is important to you? There are hundreds of words that can describe different values, such as kindness, family, security, success. Being clear on what the MOST important values are to you and why, is a crucial step for being ready to date!
2. Am I comfortable with the discomfort of saying “no”?
As we navigate the world of online dating, we will sometimes find ourselves in situations where saying “no” is necessary. It could be something as simple as “Actually, I am not crazy about sushi, but I love Italian”; or something more difficult like “I appreciate you asking for another date, but I don’t feel like we were a good fit.” The ability to move through the discomfort of saying no helps us to date while being our authentic selves. This authenticity will not only save you time, but will lead you to something great.
3. How do I feel when I talk about my ex?
When discussing or thinking about your past relationship or maybe even relationships, how do you feel? Do you still get a little weepy? Is there residual anger or resentment? As you think about dating again, it’s important that we have extracted all of the lessons that came from your former loves and let the rest go. I know, I know, often easier said than done. However, carrying our past into the present in any form other than a lesson can lead to repeating the same patterns over and over and attracting something you don’t want rather than finding that person that you can’t wait to see again.
4. Am I lonely when I’m alone?
Knowing how to appreciate and enjoy the time you have to yourself leads to being able to appreciate and enjoy the time you have someone else. Your relationship with yourself will set the stage for all other relationships in your world. When you are alone, you truly get to do everything YOU want. You can eat cereal for dinner or take yourself out for a nice meal! You can watch what YOU want to watch on the television, see the movie that YOU want to see, or just read a book if that is what YOU fancy! Understanding how to create your own joy truly is something to appreciate. AND as a bonus, it increases your attraction level dramatically!
Do you feel you could use some help in moving through the discovery process to get to the answers for the above questions? Send a message to firstname.lastname@example.org and I will personally reach out to you!